Some people are toxic, and you can’t deny it. They are not only unhappy and miserable but also have the supreme talent of spreading this virus of unhappiness and misery to others, either by their toxic words or by their toxic actions. Dealing with such people is a challenge indeed. Many a time this is also seen that no matter how much we try we just can’t get rid of them. What if you are surrounded by them day and night? If those people are none but your parents, relatives, in-laws, your co-workers, employers, employees, etc., keeping away from them is not an option. What should you do then? Would it be helpful if you knew exactly how to deal with toxic people?
Why are Toxic people toxic?
For some, it’s because of the miserable life experiences and stories that have made them so. While some others actually find fun in making your life miserable. And then there are those who feel a sense of power by making things difficult for you just because they know they can. The fact is they can turn any bad situation worse or even worst because of their negativity and low vibes.
Whatever the reason, here are your 7 healthy ways to deal with toxic people.
1. Remain calm
Those difficult people are great tests of your ability to remain calm and strong under pressure. By remaining calm, you don’t allow yourself to get bothered by their talks. Decide that regardless of their behavior, you will remain calm. Let them know that you will continue to respect them and they have no reason not to provide the same in return.
2. Don’t react, instead, respond
Even if they are allowed to have their opinion, doesn’t matter whether you agree to it or not. Acknowledge that the person is difficult and you might have some problems in dealing with him.
Whenever an argument is about to break, control the situation by asking what’s actually bothering them. This would show that person that you’d prefer to communicate maturely rather than argue. Look for things you have in common. You’d find it easier to deal with this type of people while standing on equal grounds.
3. Don’t try to push them or change them
No one can persuade another to change. Each of us guards a gate of change that can only be opened from the inside. We cannot open the gate of another, either by argument or by emotional appeal.
Marilyn Ferguson
Nobody likes to have others impose their views on them. The harder you will try to change them, the harder will they resist. So it’s better that you don’t force them to change. Let them be as they are. You must have already tried to convince them of their such negative behavior and all. Did it work? If it had worked, you would not have tried to find other ways right?
Trying to stop a negative person from speaking something negative is just like trying to stop an introvert from his “Me-Time”. So we must allow them to be what they are.
4. Don’t make their negativity your negativity
There are a lot of people out there who hate their jobs, hate their lives, lack self-esteem, and try to do every possible thing they can to make the lives of those around them miserable too. When you are confronted with people like this, don’t let them get to you. You have your own aura which must be the most influential one. So, you must not allow their negative vibes to influence or damage you in any way.
If you have to deal with the same difficult person over time, learn what is that special button that makes them go into a difficult mode. Ask them what is the best way to make their job easier and what can you do to help them. If it’s family, you typically know the buttons already. Rather than pushing those buttons, deal with your family members with love, appreciation, and trust. You’ll find that such difficult situations are quickly corrected with a little bit of understanding and a big smile.
5. Take responsibility for your own thoughts
If anyone or anything needs to change it has to be your response to their behaviors. Why are you being influenced by what are they saying? It’s not that others say or do that affect us, it’s our own response to those statements that affect us. No one has the power to spoil your good mood unless you give them permission to do so.
6. Focus on your priorities, not on them
When we focus on our priorities, we don’t have the time to see all the drama around us or the mistakes of others, gossip, politics, negativities, etc. So, you don’t need to give them that much power to control your lives. You have many more pending works on your bucket list, isn’t it?
7. Let them be, you just leave
At the end of the day, if that person is trying every possible way to still make you feel miserable, and you can’t take more, it’s better to leave. The last option is to just walk away. If it’s a relationship and things are extreme, you may need to consider removing them from your life. If it’s a job, you may want to begin looking for a new position or starting your own business. No matter what the case is or whoever the person is, you deserve to be treated with respect.
Finally, do not get overly obsessed with toxic people. It would be great if both of you could find harmony. However, if things can never get well between you, you should let the person go instead.
CONCLUSION
Unfortunately, with a different spectrum of personalities present all around, you just can’t resist the toxic or difficult people in your life. As a well-cultured individual, you should always be prepared to give everyone the respect they deserve. And when that respect is not being returned, try to determine what can be done to make things right.
Well, the best way to deal with toxic people is by accepting the fact that they can’t be changed. And, when you are in company with someone like that, the best attitude is that of silence and non-confrontation.
So, how do you deal with the toxic people that keep showing up in your life? What is it about them that triggers you? You can share your comments in the comment section below.
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2 Comments
As asked I would say that the thing that triggers me to consider a person as toxic is the way that person takes life, is their thought process, is them trying to make myself also toxic in a way negative I would say. So as a first approach I always try to have a talk with that person if that person I have to confront on a regular basis, if that doesn’t work out then as you said I start remaining silent and better not try to convince that person to agree that his/her thought process is incorrect. And the extreme way is to just simply walk away for your own mental peace.. As I say always.. Good article Sweta keep it up
What I wrote was completely my experience after facing a lot of toxic people in my life. I am glad it helped Shivani.