I am not good enough! What should I do?”

This question sounds familiar. Isn’t it? Doesn’t matter which field of life it is, maybe personal or professional, you feel as if you are not worthy enough to handle anything. All the things you wish for but don’t have, your relationships that keep degrading day by day; your to-do lists which you are unable to complete and the list continues.

This feeling of being not good enough or not worthy enough always sucks. Regardless of wherever you go, you will always be reminded to look better, act better, present better or similar things.

The more important question however is – “Why”? Why do we always get that feeling? A feeling that always sabotages our self-confidence.

Reasons for feeling not good enough:

As humans, we are inherently flawed. We are susceptible to making mistakes. Our accomplishments are few and our shortcomings are many. It’s a human attribute to feel unsatisfied and incomplete. In this way, it can be said that all of us are “not good enough”. Apart from this, there can be numerous other reasons why we feel so, which are discussed here.

1. You are influenced by people too much

As we know, humans are social animals. Because of this, there is a large influence of society on us. Our society expects us to follow a particular timeline through its predetermined set of rules. This rule says to get a degree till 23, be employed till 25, get married till 28, and many more. And if you don’t fulfill this criterion, this judgemental society will leave no stone unturned to make you feel that you are not good enough.

Moreover, you are so concerned about the opinions of others that you often start ignoring the inner voice that can guide you to do what you really want to do.

2. Your limiting beliefs.

When you start doubting yourself, this sense of self-doubt gradually expands into feelings of being not good enough. If it happens, what you should do is try replacing your limiting beliefs with a little positive self-talk . Now observe the change in your thoughts and feelings.

3. Unable to meet your own expectations

When you are incapable of creating ever-lasting love, success, or happiness, then also an equivalent feeling of disdain and disappointment arises. Expectations always hurt, and once you have expected tons from yourself, it’s sure that you will be hurt also a lot if you fail at fulfilling those.

4. Your low self-esteem because of various circumstances

This world is competitive. It seems every one of us has participated in the so-called race of life. Moreover, people keep on comparing themselves to others every single time feeling even more inadequate. They assume that such accomplishments that others have acquired will give them the self-worth they long for. Unfortunately, even if they accomplish something, they become disheartened due to another thing. Thanks to the Comparison trap again- a rule which is sufficient to lower someone’s self-esteem.

Related Post: How to get rid of the Comparison Trap?

What to do when you feel like you are not good enough?

First of all, stop asking “Why am I not good enough?” Rather, you can start asking “What can I do or What should I do to live the life of my choice?” Besides this, here are some more practical and easy-to-implement routines that you can follow.

1. Work on your strengths

Why don’t we give attention to our strengths rather than crying about our weaknesses all the time?

Maybe there’s something that you can’t do right now but that doesn’t mean you stop learning from that situation or task. Give your energy to your strengths. Each one of us has some weaknesses. Does it mean we keep ignoring our strengths for it? What you focus on expands; whether it’s your knowledge or your beliefs. So make sure to focus on your strengths, so that they can countereffect your weaknesses.

2. A little more acceptance, My Dear!

Accept that you simply are and will always be perfectly imperfect. Accept that you have faults, and it’s completely okay to not be okay sometimes.

Life is confusing, glorious, complicated, unpredictable, and messy for each and every one of us. So we must celebrate our life anyway. Stop worrying about your worthiness and re-direct your attention to what you love doing, where you can contribute, and how you can improve. It’s okay if you screw up, fail or act foolishly. Failure isn’t an invitation to quit; it’s an invitation to learn something new and modify your plan.

3. Encourage Yourself

Instead of succumbing to feelings of being not good enough, encourage yourself.

“I can do this” sounds far better than I can’t. Isn’t it?

I’m good enough to reach my goal” sounds much more inspiring than “I am not good enough”.

Let your strengths be your encouragement as you encourage yourself in the creative process of manifesting your desires. Choose to be good enough each and every day by taking small steps and soon you’ll create the habit of self-confidence.

4. Practice self-love

The need for love is in our genes. We often forget that the love we want the most is the love that comes from within. How can anyone love you if you don’t love yourself first?

Embrace that you, good enough or not, are still unique in your own way and are worthy of being loved and to love. You are who you are and you can’t be anyone else. Start by accepting that and look at all the unique things about you that make you, you.

Related post: 10 reasons to love yourself first before loving others.

5. Keep moving forward

Shift your focus to believing more in yourself. You don’t have to try to compete with others. You just have to be yourself and keep moving forward giving it your best shot.

CONCLUSION

You think you are not good enough. But do you know what I think?

You are more than your looks and your profession. You are more than your struggles and triumphs. These factors are all transitory. But the real you, your true self, is eternal, ineffable, and transcendent.

When you die, your loved ones or other people around you will not remember you for what you didn’t or couldn’t achieve, they will remember you for what you were capable of and how worthy your influence, and your presence to them.

I don’t agree with the fact that we have to feel perfectly beautiful, intelligent, and competent in order to explore our potential. There is no hard and fast rule that only the perfect and best among us get to satisfy our hopes and dreams while the rest of us are not worthy of anything.

Hope it helps. Good luck!


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Nature lover, voracious learner, keen observer

2 Comments

  1. Celebrating the little victories every day, journaling, and reminding myself how much I’ve achieved so far. Thank you for spreading the message of self-love.

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