It is clear from the title of the topic that you have already realized that expectation hurts. And if the expectations are natural ones and not met, they can kill you from the inside. Natural I said because some expectations are natural like our expectations from our parents or vice-versa or teachers’ expectations from their students. The problem arises when those expectations go beyond a certain limit and become unrealistic. As a result, we suffer. And this suffering feels somehow extra painful. That’s the reason we say expectations hurt, and why we must stop expecting from others.

But is it really possible that you can live without any expectations? I don’t think so. After all, what’s the scope of my writing when I can’t expect my audience to read my articles? What’s the need for your job if you are not expecting personal, professional, and financial growth from it?

But yes, we can definitely limit our expectations and adhere to the realities so that when we are facing the reality check, it should not make us feel disappointed or unworthy.

How to lower your expectations?

Expectations have a crucial role in human psychology. We all have expectations about how other people will act. And then we base our own conduct on these assumptions. For instance, when you are at a restaurant, you expect perfect service no matter how busy the restaurant is. Your behavior with the waiters there or your tolerance and friendliness with no room for error reflects the result of your expectations.

Our expectations increase unknowingly, owing to various circumstances. We keep expecting from others, from ourselves, from life, from situations, always. And when we receive things contrary to what we expect, we get hurt. We get hurt because we expect but are unable to accept. We get hurt because we live in denial.  

And to stop expecting is indeed difficult. However, acceptance is the first step towards lowering your expectations. When you have accepted that not all your expectations will be fulfilled, you make your life a little easier.

And here I am sharing a list of things that you should stop expecting from others.

1. Stop Expecting others to change for you

You can’t change others at all. Your words or actions might influence them but they may or may not concede. Remember, just as you have beliefs of how things should be, others also have beliefs of how they should be and there is a high probability that those two views will differ.

The only person that needs to change is you. And this change comes when you let go of the expectation. If not that, then at least your reaction or response to others when they aren’t living up to; that can be changed.

When we set unrealistic expectations from them, we put ourselves in danger of being let down and endanger the relationships we have with them. Things get a lot simpler if you sometimes let it be as they are, instead of trying to change them constantly.

2. Stop Expecting them to treat you the same way you treat them

We expect from people when we do something for them. But if you are expecting others to call you, be there for you, listen to you, understand you, or make you happier, you may add extra stress to your life. Craving for reciprocity seems natural but it’s not always true. It might be an illusion.

So, it’s better to don’t keep records of what you are doing for others. How you helped someone, what you did for your friends, how genuine you are; that’s you and your KARMA. Just do your KARMA, and trust that the universe will take care of you.

3. Stop Expecting them to read your mind

Do you think your best friend is your mind reader? It may sound correct sometimes owing to the powerful bond you share with her, but not always correct. Even she has problems in her own life. Not only your best friend, but any other third person out there, who you think has hurt your expectations.

Communicate with them and resolve your problems. Don’t keep that grudge to yourself and overcomplicate things. Try to keep things simple.

4. Stop Expecting them to recognize and appreciate what you do for them

Stop expecting people to prioritize you. Everyone has their own priorities, and it’s not fair to expect someone to always prioritize you. Respect their decisions and priorities. Realize that there’s no reason to expect others to treat you the way you treat them. Not everyone has the same heart as you.

Related post: The Joyful Act of Giving.

People have different perspectives and may not express gratitude in the way we anticipate. Instead of seeking external validation, find fulfillment within yourself. Appreciate your own efforts, celebrate your achievements, and derive satisfaction from the positive impact you create.

Remember, your worth isn’t determined by others’ recognition but by the value you place on your own contributions.

5. Stop expecting people to always agree with you

Everyone has their own opinion, and it’s not possible for everyone to agree with you all the time. It’s important to respect others’ opinions and have healthy discussions. After all, not all the fingers of the hands are the same, isn’t it?

People have different backgrounds and ideas, and that’s what makes life interesting. Expecting everyone to agree with you all the time can be frustrating. Instead, try to appreciate the fact that everyone brings something unique to the table. It’s like a big mix of colors that makes life more colorful. So, let’s be open to hearing different opinions. Let’s learn from each other, and make life a bit more interesting by embracing all the diverse ideas out there.

6. Don’t expect others to fix things for you

You’re the master of your own fate. Your life is your responsibility. Neither blaming others nor expecting help from others is going to work. You have to fix the broken things yourself. They are not going to do it if you don’t do it for yourself.

While support and encouragement from others can be valuable, the responsibility for your personal growth and well-being ultimately lies with you. Relying on others to “fix” you can lead to disappointment and dependency. Instead, embrace the idea that you have the strength and agency to work on yourself. Seek guidance, learn, and grow, but always remember that the journey of self-improvement is a personal one. Be your own hero, and let others complement, not define, your path to becoming the best version of yourself.


An expectation is the thief of joy.

The more you expect from others and don’t receive, the greater the stress and frustration.

People want the best of the best from everyone around them. Isn’t that just crazy? It’s important to remember that we are all human, and we all have our own strengths and weaknesses. When we place unrealistic expectations on others, we set ourselves up for disappointment, frustration, and even resentment. By letting go of these expectations and focusing on our own growth and happiness, we can build stronger and healthier relationships with those around us.

So let’s take a deep breath, let go of those expectations, and embrace the present moment with open hearts and minds. Let’s focus on what we can give to the world, rather than what we can get from it, and cultivate a sense of gratitude, peace, and joy in our daily lives.


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