The age of ’20s to ’30s is a crucial one. I believe that the beliefs or habits or mindsets that we adopt at this stage can actually work for us or even can screw us, that also to its very core.
We always are concerned about how to motivate ourselves when we are down or how to achieve this or achieve but seldom do we pay attention to what are the things that can actually screw us if not taken care of. That is the reason I always say why our NOT-TO-DO List is as important as our TO-DO-LIST.
The beliefs or actions or habits which I will be discussing in today’s article are a sure sort of way to screw your precious moments of life. Because I believe one needs to know the cause of the disease so that necessary medicines and more importantly the required precautions can be taken the next time. So, let’s begin and look at some of the common beliefs that hold you back.
1. The “Herd Mentality”.
Herd Mentality refers to being a fan of running a race without being aware of your own conscious, just because everyone else is doing it. If you are living your life just for the sake of living, but not to its fullest, then you are not really living, you are just surviving. If you are doing something just for the sake of doing it, without enjoying that particular work, then you are just following the crowd. Going where everyone is going will give you the same results that everyone else is getting.
I kept this point at first because I have been also a follower of such “Herd Mentality” for a very long period of time. And I realized that was the time when I screwed myself the most when I did the most number of mistakes.
Gradually, I tried the concept of doing ‘what my heart says and what very few people do. And the result I got was that I found much less traffic on the roads that were not taken by others but that I took. Yes, it took me much time to identify a unique path for myself but now that I know it, I am fearlessly following it.
I have read somewhere that “Learn to be that king of the jungle, who knows how to walk alone. Not because he has to but because he enjoys doing it.”
Trust me, it is fun. Try it out.
2. Complaining and Blaming all the time
In today’s world, there are two types of people.
| Type 1 | Type 2 |
| They complain about their busyness because they don’t get enough time to get their things done. | They complain about their boredom because they have a lot of free time |
| They complain because they don’t have as high a salary as their friends. | They complain because they can’t save money even after earning so much. |
| They complain because of the mistakes which they did in the past. | They complain because they are overthinking and anxious about their choices for their future. |
The common thing among both of them is that they are complaining most of the time which is 80 percent of the time. Because of their complaining attitude, they feel screwed.
It’s not that you should never vent out your frustrations or you don’t have a right to complain or to express your dissatisfaction, but an over-complaining attitude is an unhealthy one. And in the long run, being a victim will never help you.
Once you stop complaining and start appreciating, you will find many other reasons to be grateful even on your worse days. Here is how you can create positive energy even on your worse days?
3. Expectations
We live our lives filled with expectations. Expectations over our career, finances, relationships, etc. And those expectations are rigid. They can be walls of disappointment when you can’t climb over them. It’s very easy and equally disheartening to cry over why those expectations aren’t met and ignore all the progress we have made. This means it’s time to stop expecting.
Lower your expectations, especially from others and your stress will automatically be lowered.
4. Overworking
Do you constantly brag about how busy you are or how much you work in a day?
Are you living a life where you are always in a hurry, without being able to relax even for some hours?
I am damn sure that you can visualize and resonate with the above two situations easily.
If your life revolves around jobs, projects, tasks, or activities related only to work 24*7, then you are sure sort to be screwed. Work is important, very important. But even a machine can’t work efficiently if it is made to operate always without giving a break to it. On a further note, you are not a machine, you are a human. And your resting hours are as important as your busy hours.
Yes, maintaining a work-life balance can be difficult but you know better what are your priorities. Isn’t it?
5. Comparison trap
I mention this disaster of comparison in most of my articles. Because this is something that is my personal favorite to write or talk about.
Can we ever become tired of comparing ourselves to others?
Can we please stop falling into the Comparison Trap again and again?
Nobody’s journey is the same as yours. Someone’s else definition of success may /may not be the right definition for yours. What works for them may not work for you and what works for you may never work for them.
Your real parameter of growth is how far have you come at a personal level. As long as you strive to be a better and more aware version of yourself every day, you are on the right track. After all, that’s how you can create your own definition of success.
Similar read: 1. How to get rid of the Comparison Trap?
2. You are enough, just the way you are.
6. Mindless scrolling (Information Overload)
“What! I just did NOTHING for 2 hours, except scrolling my browser.” Yes, this statement we use often. We scroll mindlessly first and then we complain about experiencing a distortion in time. And what do we get after scrolling mindlessly for too many hours?
TOO MUCH INFORMATION! Which is definitely not needed!
Tell me do you really need to know each and everything that’s happening in the world of Instagram, Fb, Twitter, Youtube, and other platforms all at a time?
Do you really need to read 5000 articles on “Why you should read books?” instead of reading a book actually?
If you find any useful information on even some articles, first try it. Don’t search for more. More is not always better. After all, you can process very little of actually the information that you are consuming. So, STOP CONSUMING TOO MUCH INFORMATION. Rather start creating from whatever you have consumed till now. You don’t have to become an information junkie who doesn’t put things into play.
Take actions. Focus more on execution than just on planning and plotting. Set daily priorities. Book your calendar. Just do something rather than only thinking about doing something.
7. Unable to say No.
Your friend asks you to accompany her to the movies just for celebrating Friday night. You are not really excited about it, you don’t want to go still you are unable to say NO to her. What happens next is what you know very well. You go with her and come back regretting your decision, thinking about what else you could do in those 3 hours.
That’s what happens when you can’t say No to the people around you. You have no idea the amount of damage it does to your lives when you keep saying YES to almost each and everything. It not only results in a waste of your time or energy but much more than that. As you grow up, you feel you have limited energy that you can devote to particular people or things. Then why not save it for the best ones?
8. Ignoring Constructive Criticism.
If you think you are too big or too good to listen to valuable or constructive feedback, then you probably deserve to struggle just a bit longer. Then you probably will screw yourself more.
Put your pride in the bag and listen up! Find out who has successfully gone before you. Reach out to them. Ask for mentoring. There is always some gold nugget or takeaway that you can use. The problem arises when instead of looking at their brighter sides, we start comparing ourselves to them. Don’t compare instead listen, research, and explore more.
9. Taking failure to heart
Success wouldn’t feel like a victory if it were to come easy. After all, nothing worth in life ever comes up easy. If everything was to be served on a plate, you wouldn’t enjoy it, not every minute would feel like something you should cherish.
Failures are important because they tell you that your life is yet to bring you the best of experiences and achievements. So, learn from your failures and do better. Take your failures as your guideposts to give your life direction. After all, nothing lasts forever. This too shall pass, so you mustn’t continue feeling like the hardships will never end for you.
10. The desire to be liked by everyone.
We have the urge to be liked by all and hated by none. But is it possible practically?
Whatever you do, you will always find a critic. So it’s better to stop trying to please people who can’t be pleased. You need to accept the fact that you can’t be liked by everyone, no matter how hard you try.
11. Surrounding yourself with superficial people:
Of all the people you meet in your lifetime, especially between the ’20s to 30’s age, the maximum of them is temporary ones. And you give over importance to those temporary friends or acquaintances while underestimating the importance of some real ones who bring real value to your lives.
It’s better to keep your circle small than to surround yourself with such superficial people. It’s okay to keep to yourself and not have someone to go for Saturday night parties with. It’s okay to not take the load of what people think about you because people generally don’t think about you as much as you feel they do.
Instead of surrounding yourself with people who will fill you up with negative vibes and a sense of self-doubt, surround yourself with people who do not wish to compete with you or demotivate you. These are the people who will be cheering for you from the front-row seat, showing off your every move and telling you how proud they are of you.
Further Reading: 1. 7 Healthy Ways to deal with Toxic People
2. 7 Signs of a Person with a Weak Aura.
Final thoughts
It’s a tough world but it’s also one with booming opportunities. You might not end up getting what you want immediately but with the right mindset and ambition, everything is achievable. You might feel screwed but only because of your limiting beliefs. Once you replace those beliefs with constructive ones, everything would be fine. That is all you need to convince your mind of. Everything else can be dealt with.
GOOD LUCK!
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