Here’s Why you Should Stop Denying Your Negative Emotions

“How can you be so optimistic and full of life, as if there were no problems in your life?”

This is one constant compliment that I receive from my acquaintances every single time. I do feel good and happy about it just like it is supposed to be, but I wish the above statement could be 100 percent true.

Unfortunately, the truth is somewhat different. I generally allow people to believe that my attitude towards life is always positive as I know the importance of optimism for my own as well as for others’ mental health. I wish I could be genuinely happy and not just faking those positive vibes in front of others. Sometimes, I think I keep denying my negative emotions, instead of facing them just for the sake of positivity.

But is it really necessary to deny your negative feelings in order to stay strong?

Are negative emotions bad?

Do you know what happens when you ignore your emotions, especially the negative ones?

By denying your negative emotions you mean to say that your feelings don’t matter at all. It doesn’t matter at all if you’re hurt, depressed, angry, in pain, or heartbroken. You just send out a vibrational message to your mind that you are not important, so, please leave soon.

Emotion gives us information about what is right or what is wrong for us, what can be beneficial or harmful to us, what we want and what we don’t want. Try to figure out what are those negative emotions trying to tell you, before denying them.

Dwelling on the same negative emotions for a long time is harmful, but completely denying them without learning anything from them should be avoided. When you don’t look for the message hidden inside those emotions, you start beating yourself up for being crazy, angry, or scared, or stressed, or whatever it is, instead of recognizing that something needs to change. And once you make that change, the negative emotion will usually disappear all by itself. . Accept them as accepting negative emotions are important for better emotional resilience.

Why do we keep denying our negative emotions?

It is a common fear that if you let yourself feel your negative emotions, you can sink yourself into the depths of them and never get out. For example, if you feel hurt by what someone says and you just let yourself feel it more and more, then it means you are dwelling on it and it’s going to feel worse.

According to the famous “Law of Attraction”, you attract what matches your energy. That’s the reason a lot of stress is put on positive thoughts, energy, or actions so that we can attract only the good things in our lives. And, by the way, if you are not allowing yourself to feel a negative emotion, you may think you are tricking the Law of Attraction but you’re not. You attract what matches your energy. If you allow your emotions to flow naturally, then they dissipate easily. But if you keep denying them, they become a part of your energy field and you attract more of such emotions. That’s the reason it is always advised to let your negative emotions flow no matter in which form. It may be through your tears or sharing it with someone close. Anything works but not the suppressing of those emotions.

If you express your happy moments through celebration, joy, and laughter; then why is this discrimination only for the negative emotions? They too deserve to be accepted and expressed.

What happens when you keep suppressing or denying your negative emotions?

Negative emotions like anger, envy, anxiety etc will keep disturbing you if you keep ignoring them because your subconscious mind is trying to give you some information about the situation through those emotions. If you keep ignoring that information, your subconscious mind will keep trying to get your attention with that negative emotion. As a result of which your minor frustrations may turn into a dangerous explosion. (mentally as well as emotionally)

If you don’t let your negative emotions out or if you totally repress them, then there is a high probability of you turning into Mr or Ms. Depressing. You will start beating yourself up by telling yourself you are bad for feeling any negative feelings. When you don’t accept them, you just pretend that you’re perfect and can never be affected by others. As a result of which you end up being pretty lonely and miserable.

We often feel guilty about our ‘darker side’ and try to cover it up. But we cover it up by faking it, unsuccessfully, a lot of time. Feeling guilty about feeling angry, embarrassed after being tearful, or being angry after being unproductive is still better than pretending that you are always okay or happy.

What to do rather than ignoring your negative emotions?

Just the opposite of ignorance i.e acceptance. Accept your emotions as they are and then let them go. Treat them as your guests. Whether you like your guests or hate them if they arrive at your place, you treat them with respect; irrespective of the fact you want them or not. That’s what we are taught as general etiquette. Isn’t it? But if that guest thinks of our homes as their own and is not willing to leave, then the problem arises. The same logic applies to those with these negative emotions.

Now the question arises how to deal with those unwanted guests or negative emotions?

Well, if you try and brush something under a carpet, it is still there. In the same way, trying to brush aside a negative feeling doesn’t get rid of it. In fact, it makes it bigger. So, it’s better to talk about it in order to resolve it. It can be done in two forms either through oral means or through writing.

• Writing about your emotions is the simplest method to get rid of such negative emotions because no one gets hurt except the pen and the paper. Your major concern is not to have a record of your emotions, the point is to express your emotions. Start writing out how you feel. Continue until you have written each and everything that’s bothering you. And gradually, you will start feeling a bit lighter.

• The second method involves sharing your feelings with someone close. Sharing is caring, and it holds for emotions too. Try to share your feelings with your close ones. You will feel, you won’t have to pretend in front of them as they won’t judge you. Instead, they might help you.

Also read: How I trained myself to deal with negative emotions through “BOX METHOD?”

CONCLUSION

If someone tells you they don’t have any negative emotions, they’re just fibbing. So don’t curse yourself if you’re still having obvious mood swings, panic attacks, or ‘get the hell out of here’ moments. That’s natural as well as normal.

It all starts with you and how you treat yourself. This doesn’t mean everyone needs to know what those emotions are. This is something that should only be centered around you, not the others. Express your emotions. Get them out. The more you allow yourself to feel your emotions, the more you allow them to dissipate.

So next time when you feel a slightly negative emotion coming up, instead of just neglecting it or pretending you’re fine, why not try the above-recommended steps.

Good luck!