Ever since my childhood, I was that kid in school who needed to be the best (in each and every field), who needed all the awards and was somewhat like everyone’s favorite. Because of this, I always felt the pressure to keep producing consistently successful results. But this pressure increased with my growing age. I felt I needed to be perfect and master each area to succeed. When the reality was this perfection was killing my progress.
Moreover, when I saw people of my age or younger achieving the most amazing things, traveling to many beautiful destinations, and leading a luxurious and successful life, I also became the victim of the famous “Comparison Trap.” Thoughts like “If she can, why can’t I” were not new to me.
It was much later that I realized where I was wrong and why I should not compare myself with others?
It was with passing of time, many experiences, and my self-reflection, that allowed me to be comfortable not knowing all the answers while trusting that I was still capable of succeeding in my field and always being a student of life.
Now, I celebrate myself in appreciation of how far I’ve come, not in the arrogance of how far I am above others. Neither do I get disappointed over how below I am with respect to others. Time and experience have taught me to celebrate each small win.
On the outside, I might not be rich with success, money, the best career, and an amazing lifestyle, but on the inside, I can make someone’s day with my only one but a genuine statement. My energy and my vibes speak more than my words, and most of them are on a positive note.
I survived and got up each time when I thought I could not continue more. Yes, that’s my strength, and that is who I actually am. I don’t get awards, recognition, or promotion for my articles, but I get satisfaction. That’s what I need. And as far as needs are considered, I actually need so less to be happy, satisfied, and fulfilled.
I’m neither a perfectionist nor an overachiever. Yes, you can call me a crybaby because sometimes I cry without actually knowing why I am crying.
HAHA! Funny, isn’t it?
I cry when I am sad when I face any sort of rejection when I am angry, or even when I am the happiest. I mess up, I cry, but I get back up. Sometimes I learn new things just for fun, not to excel in each and everything, because I know excelling requires a lot of practice, and I can’t give my limited hours to each and every little thing while ignoring my other essential tasks.
You might consider me mediocre in this regard, but I don’t. I do things because I want to. Moreover, I can’t be or do not even want to be competitive 24X7, not at the cost of my lowered self-esteem. I need my rest equally and take my time to stop while acknowledging that I can make mistakes or even fail but still succeed.
Moving to the next goal without celebrating my current success and without being grateful for my blessings is not my way. I live my life simply and I don’t find any problem with that. From time to time, I slow down my thinking to enjoy doing nothing, while accepting the fact that I can’t do all the things. After all, I am not a superwoman. I need breaks and must take time off. It really doesn’t fascinate me to work 18 hrs a day to achieve more while sacrificing other essentials. This way, I am living in peace that is peaceful for me, if not for others.
The problems with Overachievers
Overachieving can be defined as the state in which a person performs far better than what is expected or even necessary. Overachievers can often achieve the most amazing things in their lives that also in much less time. And no doubt for this, they are acknowledged too. They set clear goals of high standards and even higher expectations for themselves.
But the problem arises when, in order to fulfill their To-Do’s, they tend to skip meals, sleep less than required, and refrain from social interactions and informal conversations. All that matters is getting their work done at the cost of their health, especially mental and emotional health. Some might categorize those as sacrifices for their goals, but I don’t feel so.
In fact, for me, the reverse always happens. If I don’t have enough sleep, I become agitated and restless, then forget about being productive. Whatever time I am left with on this earth, I can’t be spending it with every minute of every day crammed with activities related to my work. I don’t like to brag about my busyness or multi-tasking all the time and how much I’ve gotten done.
Bottom Line
I agree that perfectionism is not always bad. In fact, some studies suggest perfectionism is related to greater achievement. After all, striving for always greater than what we are, makes us better because there is always a scope for improvement. Moreover, healthy competition is a good thing. It fuels your creativity.
But a hyper-focus on being the best can lead to severe stress on your body. It causes you to set unrealistic expectations for yourself and others. And when you cannot meet these expectations or others cannot meet them, disappointment and frustration grow and you find yourself becoming increasingly critical and judgmental. That’s the reason now I started avoiding this ” Perfectionism Trap”, and started following the concept of turning every suffering into a blessing.
I am not obsessed with being the best rather being better, better than what I am now. I believe that among the 7.9 billion people here, everyone can’t be the best, but they can always be better. So, it’s completely okay if you are not an overachiever, at least it’s okay for me.
